I have been writing stories my entire life and writing-with-intent-to-publish close to 6 years now. I have kept a private journal throughout most of that time, in addition to this blog (which, let's face it, I've let languish over the past few months). I have also kept much of myself to myself for fear of not saying the right things, of not looking shiny and pretty and perfect enough. I have tucked away struggles and experiences, things I've learned along the way, questions I've pondered, battles I've fought. I have censored and edited and boxed myself into a silent, lonely place where I can never be the person I want to be and love the way I want to love.
You know what's beautiful about life though? Second chances. Every day, a new opportunity to do something different, to embrace whole-heartedly things you've previously turned your back on.
So and now. Here I am. Sharing some of myself.
November 9, 2011
Perhaps there are only two kinds of people in this world: those who quit and those who persevere.
Some quit before they even start. Whether from fear or apathy. Perhaps from a sense of "what's the point", the exhaustion that comes from working so hard at something that may or may not produce results. Or perhaps the quitters have taken too much to heart those nay-sayers disguised as people who have your best interests in mind, who don't want you to get hurt, to fail, to succeed...whatever the case may be.
And then there are those who persevere. These people struggle and fight against the same fears and fatigue; they battle nay-sayers. In fact, they probably incur a stronger, more vigorous resistance from those kinds of people because they refuse to give up. And the thing is, whatever goals they're trying to reach, whatever they're doing, they keep doing it despite setbacks and an uncertain outcome.
In such a results oriented culture, we forget certain things. Like the satisfaction of accomplishment (even something small that only the doer notices), or the triumph of overcoming something particularly difficult, the triumph of seeing a project through to the end. And there must be something important, too, in challenging yourself, in failing, rising again, and getting right back to it. Something that makes you a better, stronger, more fulfilled person.
It's easier to quit. Or to not even try. It's easier to slip into the fantasy world of tv, video games, social media, yes, even books, and waste an entire life learning nothing, doing nothing, being nothing.
Instead of living easy, though, I'd like to challenge myself to explore and ask questions, to get messy, risk injury and failure, to experience life in a fuller, more loving way. Loving. Yes, that seems an apt word.